Coming Out... maybe

On Tuesdays, I go to counseling. It's a pretty big deal, or so it seems on Monday night and Tuesday morning before I leave the apartment. I am honestly scared to death, not sure what to expect, or what I might say or do or think during or afterwards. Tomorrow is an especially big counseling session, because my counselor and I are going to talk about whether or not it is the right time to "come out" as an atheist and a liberal to my parents. 

I'll be honest: I'm really sick of pretending to be someone I am not, and surely they must already know to a degree. It kills me. I have been a liar to them for the past 3-4 years, and with only a little time left before I really embark on my own, I want them to know and love the real me. I want my boyfriend and I to be able to post pictures of our first apartment (hopefully sometime in June or July!) and our first pet on our social media pages and no one be shocked, scandalized, or disappointed. I want little gifts for our first home and advice on starting our lives together from both our parents, not just his. I don't want to invent a huge charade of a lie for my parents so that won't know my guy lives with me. I don't want to have to be super selective with everything I choose to say to them about my new life just to avoid being forsaken. I want to be real for once.

On the other hand, I'm not sure it is the right time to come out. If they were to disown me tomorrow, I would still have a lot to lose: my sisters, my brother, my vehicle and car insurance, health insurance, participation in the family plan for cell coverage, and a place to stay in the late spring and early summer until I move to my first real-world apartment, not to mention some personal belongings and memorabilia stored at their house, as well as my sense of belonging and well-being. If I can just hold off until summer, I will have a lot less at stake. 

After tomorrow, I may have a better idea of what course of action is best for me.