Weirdest thing ever.
The first guy I ever loved, the first guy I ever snuck around with, is not only married, but as of last night, is the father of a little girl.
And I am going to get a PhD.
Somehow a PhD seems like less of a big deal. Somehow I feel like he's an adult and I'm not. Somehow I feel like something is wrong with me for not even wanting what he has.
A boy you once adored, to whom you bared your heart and soul, with whom you thought you would marry and have babies and grow old, to see him as a man now living all his dreams (which were once your shared dreams) with someone else and to not be jealous whatsoever (more confused and perhaps a little sad) is bizarre.
Update:
I got on Facebook again literally as soon as I posted the above, and another guy I had a thing for way-back-when and his wife also just had a baby, a son.
My night just got even weirder.
My accomplishment for the week was not vomiting all over the shuttle driver in Marina Del Rey. My highlight of the week was seeing the Chicago skyline in a blizzard. They became parents.
Crazy.
I bet they feel less like adults than you think. It's very hard to get into a PhD program... making a baby is easy, literally just following instinct.
ReplyDeletenow the real hard part for them is raising the baby.